Peterson Jokes / Recent Jokes
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg, Iowa, received a checkfor $1, 000. 00 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want togo into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind offarm not to raise hogs on and what is the best breed of hogs not toraise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keepingwith all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raiserazorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I wouldjust as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping anaccurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised. My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of thebusiness. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and thebest he ever made on them was $442. 00 in 1968, until this year when hegot your check for $1, 000. 00 for not raising hogs. If I get $1, 000. 00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2, more...
*Famous Sports Quotes*
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker
"You guys line up alphabetically by height!"
- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
- Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible more...
Drew Peterson was arrested and charged with first-degree murder inthe 2004 death of his third wife, Kathleen Savio, after a new autopsy determinedshe was murdered. Peterson has also beenidentified as a suspect in the disappearance of his fourth wife, Stacy Petersonwho went missing earlier this year. Petersonhas pleaded not guilty to both charges. The trial has been delayed since his character witnesses, his first andsecond wives, cannot be located.
The following letter, reprinted with permission from the Herbal
Spotlight (Hubble Hill Herbs, PO Box 2083, Loveland, CO 80539),
was received by the Secretary of Agriculture.
Dear Sir:
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Ute, Iowa, received a check for
$1000.00 from the government for not raising 50 hogs. So, I want
to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of
farm not to raise hogs on, and what kind is the best breed of hogs
not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in
keeping with all the government policies. I would very much prefer
not to raise Razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to
raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an
accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the more...
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wellsburg, Iowa, received a checkfor $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want togo into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind offarm not to raise hogs on and what is the best breed of hogs not toraise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keepingwith all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raiserazorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I wouldjust as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping anaccurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised. My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of thebusiness. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and thebest he ever made on them was $442.00 in 1968, until this year when hegot your check for $1,000.00 for not raising hogs. If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000.00 more...