Allowance Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Allowance Money

    Hot 1 year ago

    Little Johnny's mother took him to a supermarket to buy some food.
    "Anything you break comes out of your allowance money!" shouted Johnny's mother.
    Johnny turned around and said "But you don't give me any allowance money!"
    "Yes, and now you know why."

    Playing House

    Hot 6 years ago

    Little Johnny and Susie, each five years old, were playing house.They both decided it was time to get married.So Little Johnny went to Susie's dad to ask for her hand in marriage."Where will you live?" asked Susie's dad, thinking this was cute."Well," said Little Johnny, "I figured I could just move into Susie's room. It's plenty big for both of us.""And how will you live?""I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance.That should be enough."Getting exasperated since Little Johnny seems to know all the answers, Susie's dad asked, "And what if little ones come along?""Well," said Little Johnny, "we've been lucky so far!"

    Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.
    Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix
    Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Page 11, Anderson
    Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven
    Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany
    Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago
    Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma
    Dear Pastor, I more...

    New York Governor James Patterson is debating wether or not to cut state prisoners bread allowance down from twelve slices a day. Twelve slices of bread for prisoners? Thats enough bread to kill Mama Kass six times.

    The government of Sri Lanka is now hiring MP s for the next parliament.
    Salary: Rs 22100/- per month
    Other allowances: ( legal)
    1 Entertainment Rs 1000/- per month
    2 Fuel allowance Rs 7500/- per month
    3 Cell phone allowance Rs 2000/- month
    4 Attending parliament Rs 4000/- per month
    5 Driver's allowance Rs 3500/- per month (can use
    more than one driver)
    Other benefits:
    1 Telephone with international connection
    2 Photo copier at duty free rate ( Rs 685/-) monthly.
    3 Computer at duty free rate ( Rs 1150/-)monthly.
    4 Typewriter at duty free rate ( Rs 425/-) monthly.
    5 Permit to import a luxury car valued at 30000 Us $
    6 After 5 years another permit to import a luxury car
    7 MPs those who selected are living 25 miles from
    Colombo are entitled 2 story house with 3 bed rooms and other facilities ( Rs 1000 will be charged per month as rent)
    Other previlages:
    food at low cost from parliament more...

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