Orchard Jokes

The owner of an apple orchard invited a local patent office representative to visit his orchard so he could apply for a patent on some of his hybrid apples. The patent officer informed the man that a patent could not be issued for apples, because hybrid or not, they were God's creation. The farmer said, "Yeah, but once you've seen and tasted my apples I'm sure you'll change your mind."
The farmer took the patent officer to one of his trees and told him to pick an apple from the tree and taste it. The patent officer picked an apple, tasted it and exclaimed, "Wow, that tastes just like an orange!" The farmer said, "Now turn it over and take a bite." The patent officer did just that and exclaimed, "Wow, this side tastes just like a banana!" The farmer said, "Now you see why I want this patented. I've developed this breed of apple scientifically."
The patent officer remained firm, that an apple or any other fruit is not eligible more...

A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed.

Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was prohibited.

"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him.

He replied, "Swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't."

A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was prohibited.
"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him.
He replied, "Swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't."

One hot summer day, an attractive woman was walking through an orchard and came upon a swimming pool, so she decided to go skinny dipping.
Looking around and not seeing anyone, she undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind a bush where he had been hiding all along.
"Sorry, lady," he said, "swimming is prohibited."
"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she snapped.
"Swimming is prohibited," he replied, "undressing isn't."

Ah Beng was talking to his girlfriend's brother Ah Leng while walking down orchard road. Seeing a bunch of girls window shopping, he asked Ah Leng,' Ay, did you know your sister Ah Lian is like vely the bias one?' Ah Leng replied,' Really ah? Bias is it? How is she the bias?' Ah Beng exclaimed,' Aiyah, evely time we go Orchard Road she will always say,' Ay Ah Beng bias this lar please, bias that lar please.'