Tastes Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Well... you asked!

    Hot 8 months ago

    Customer: "Is this tea I'm drinking? It tastes like kerosene!"
    Waitress: "It must be hon, our coffee tastes like turpentine."
    A contributor on here sent me chapter one of a joke book she's planning to publish, and asked me what she should get for it.
    I wrote back, "At least 6 months."
    The boy had been sitting in the restaurant for 20 minutes while his date continued to stare at the menu. "Jody, do you always have such difficulty in making up your mind?"
    "Well... yes and no." she replied.
    "I'm telling ya Marge, there's nothing like a five mile jog, then, an ice cold shower to start your day off in the morning."
    Marge looked at her obviously overweight friend and replied, "How long have you been doing this?"
    "I start tomorrow!" she answered.
    A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if more...

    Duct tape won't fix that.
    Wrasslin's fake.
    No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
    Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
    We don't keep firearms in this house.
    Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
    You can't feed that to the dog.
    I thought Graceland was tacky.
    "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
    Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
    We're vegetarians.
    Do you think my hair is too big?
    I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
    Honey, these bonsai trees need watering.
    Who's Richard Petty?
    Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
    Deer heads detract from the decor.
    Spitting is such a nasty habit.
    I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
    Trim the fat off that steak.
    Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
    The tires on that truck are too big.
    Actually, unsweetened tea tastes better.
    Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
    My fiancee, Paula Jo, more...

    Things You Will Never Hear A TRUE Southerner Say!
    We don't keep firearms in this house.
    Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
    You can't feed that to the dog.
    I thought Graceland was tacky.
    No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
    Wreslin's fake.
    Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
    We're vegetarians.
    Do you think my hair is too big?
    I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
    Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?
    Who's Richard Petty?
    Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
    Deer heads detract from the decor.
    Spitting is such a nasty habit.
    I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
    Trim the fat off that steak.
    Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
    The tires on that truck are too big.
    I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
    I've got it all on a floppy disk.
    Unsweetened tea tastes better.
    Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
    My fiancee, Paula more...

    36 things you'll never hear from a Redneck...
    1. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
    2. "Duct tape won't fix that."
    3. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."
    4. "We don't keep firearms in this house."
    5. "You can't feed that to the dog."
    6. "I thought Graceland was tacky."
    7. "No kids in the back of the pick-up...it's not safe."
    8. "Professional wresslin's fake."
    9. "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?"
    10. "We're vegetarians."
    11. "Do you think my hair is too big?"
    12. "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."
    13. "Honey, these bonsai trees need watering."
    14. "I don't understand the appeal of NASCAR."
    15. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."
    16. "Deer heads detract from the decor."
    17. "Spitting is such a nasty more...

    36 things you'll never hear from a Redneck...1. "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"2. "Duct tape won't fix that."3. "Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."4. "We don't keep firearms in this house."5. "You can't feed that to the dog."6. "I thought Graceland was tacky."7. "No kids in the back of the pick-up...it's not safe."8. "Professional wresslin's fake."9. "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?"10. "We're vegetarians."11. "Do you think my hair is too big?"12. "I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy."13. "Honey, these bonsai trees need watering."14. "I don't understand the appeal of NASCAR."15. "Give me the small bag of pork rinds."16. "Deer heads detract from the decor."17. "Spitting is such a nasty habit."18. "I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today."19. "Trim more...

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