Chaplain Meemordnilap's "Chaplain's thought" posted earlier was in error. He had St. Nicholas (the original Santa Claus) confused with St. Dracula.
St. Nicholas, as we all know, is said to have lived in a fortress in the arctic region, from which he flew to reward good and punish evil, using the great powers he gained after being rocketed to Earth from the doomed planet Krypton. That is, except when he was disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a major metropolitan newspaper.
Please correct all manual and computer copies, and report to your local Inquisitor to have all traces of Meemornilap's heretical teachings erased from your mind.
- Father Talbot, Lycanthropoi Khristoi
Cromwell and Rasputin
as submitted to
Dr. Richard King
The following essay was an actual submission by a student, who was given the assignment: ''Write a term paper
comparing and contrasting two revolutionary figures of your
choice. The figures are to be selected from different
periods of European history.''
Unlike most papers of student bloopers, which are collaborative
efforts, this one is the work of the exceptionally fruitful pen
of a single student. Read it and enjoy!
The English and the Russian revolutions had a leader
that stood out to have an effect on the revolution. For the
Russian it was Rasputin. He was born in the reign of the
Tsar-Emperor Alexander the Second, absolute ruler of over a
hundred million people consisting of fifty some nationalities
and speaking nearly two-hundred-different languages or
dialects. This empire stretched from the Prussian border to
beyond the Pacific Ocean. Rasputin was more...
Lost on a rainy night, a nun comes across a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately, she's just in time for dinner and is treated to the best fish and chips she has ever had.
After dinner, she goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. There, she's greeted by two of the Brothers. "Hello, Sister," the first one says. "I am Brother Andrew, and this is Brother Nicholas."
"I'm very pleased to meet you," the nun replies. "I would like to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips were the best I have ever had. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
"Well, I am the fish friar," Brother Nicholas says.
She turns to the other Brother and says, "Then you must be... "
"Yes, I'm afraid so - I am the chip monk," he replies.
Twas the "NET" before Christmas
When all through our house,
Not a creature was typing
nor moving a mouse.
Our Monitors hummed
and were glowing within,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas
would soon "Modem" in.
The teenagers were crashed
in their messy bedrooms,
and dreaming of boxes
With games such as Doom.
Mom back from aerobics
and done kissing me,
We just settled in for some
much needed ZZZ's.
When in the home office
there arose such a din,
I shot down the stairs,
Had the fax just come in??
Away to my keyboard
I leaped to my chair,
Typed in my password...
But no Fax was there!!
My screen came alive
it was wildly aglow,
The hard drive went crunching
The "One and the "O."
When what my bifocaled eyes
should I see,
But a Brand New Web Browser
From server so rapid
(not one on the slates)
That I thought for a more...
Nicholas girls shouldn't climb trees!