Mushrooms Jokes / Recent Jokes

While having lunch with her friend, a woman announced that she was getting married for the fourth time.
"That's wonderful," replied her friend, "but if you don't mind my asking, what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died," the woman replied.
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?" the friend asked.
"He, too, ate poisonous mushrooms and died," the woman explained.
"Oh goodness, how horrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband," the friend said.
"My third husband died of a broken neck," the woman declared.
"A broken neck?" exclaimed the friend. "How did that happen?"
"He refused to eat the mushrooms!" the woman said with a sigh.

I was talking to a guy in the line at the store. The conversation got around to wives, and he said he had been widowed three times. I said "Three wives, all dead and buried?" He said "Yes."
"What happened to the first one?"
"Poison Mushrooms."
"What happened to the second one?"
"Poison Mushrooms."
"And the third?"
"Fractured skull."
"How did that happen?"
"She wouldn't eat the poison mushrooms."

A man gets married and shortly afterwards his wife dies. A friend tries to console him and asks, "What happened to your wife?"
"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," said the husband.
This man gets married a second time, and not long after the marriage, this second wife dies. The same friend tries to console the grieving husband and asks, "What happened to your second wife?"
"She died of poison from eating mushrooms," was also the reply from the husband.
This man takes a third wife and, not very long after the marriage, the third wife dies.
The consoling friend asks, "What happened to your third wife? Was it mushroom poisoning?"
The grieving husband responds, "No, she died of a broken neck."
"A broken neck!" replies the friend.
"Yes," says the husband, "she wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

there where two mushrooms in a pot.
what did one mushroom say to the other???
theres not MUSHroom in here!!!

Dear Hot Ramen, I have a problem. Every morning at 6am the workers come into my neighbor's apartment, which is right next door to mine and start pounding on the walls. They just pound and pound until noon, take an hour rest and then pound some more. I work at home and I'm not getting any work done. My boss is threatening to fire me. I want to kill them, but my neighbor is hot and I've been wanting to get into his pants since I moved in. What should I do? Signed,
Neighborly Love (not related to Courtney)
Dear Neighborly, Aiyah! First thing- Get earplugs quick! Then talk to your neighbor about your little disturbance, but be sure to wear your earplugs so that your neighbor needs to shout to be heard. Keep asking him to speak louder and finally you can suggest you go into your apartment where it is not so noisy. When he comes in quickly take out the earplugs and feed him some
of Hot Ramen's speeecial Ooh-la-la Ramen Romance Soup. This soup is from an ancient soup recipe more...