Msnbc Jokes

This occurred to me while I was watching all the channels coverage of the September 11th terrorism and the followups. Here's a summary of how the various networks covered the event:
CNN: Should America retaliate? On Crossfire tonight, Colin Powell debates Osama Ben Laden.
ABC: Should America retaliate? Tonight, Barbara Walters interviews Tom Cruise.
MSNBC: MSNBC has learned that the Empire State Building is once again the tallest building in New York!
(from rec.humor.funny)
Newsflash! This just in:
The IRA has reportedly hijacked the Goodyear blimp. They have bounced it into Big Ben five times already.

A few selected, funny but also scary quotes of words of wisdom by George W Bush. Unlike the bogus Gore quotes making the rounds, the source and date for each quote is cited.
"The fundamental question is, 'Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more effective." In Wayne, Mich., as quoted by Katharine Q. Seelye in the New York Times, June 28, 2000
"The only things that I can tell you is that every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty... I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas." All Things Considered, NPR, June 16, 2000 (Thanks to Andy Nouraee.)
"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read, I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do." On more...

According to MSNBC, a beagle that had been rescued from a rooftop after hurricane Katrina was shot to death last month for growling at a man through a fence. Apparently a man with a gun felt threatened by the beagle. The man said he experienced a similar kind of rage while watching Sesame Street.

Rush Limbaugh has challenged MSNBC to go thirty days without mentioning his name. MSNBC responded by challenging Rush to go thirty days without visiting a Krispy Kreme store.

Timothy McVeigh, executed in 2001 for the Oklahoma City terrorist bombing that killed 168 people, told victims' families to "get over it " in a set of interview tapes aired for the first time Monday night on MSNBC. Ironically, "get over it," is exactly what Satan told McVeigh when he complained about conditions in Hell.