Reality Jokes

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500,000."
The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500,000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!"
The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500,000."
The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500,000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!"
He returns to his father: "Dad, she said 'Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're more...

A smart blonde, a blonde, and a Santa Clause jumped off a bridge at the same time. which one hit the ground first?

The blonde! The other two don't exist!

A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?" His
mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."
Then he goes to his sister's room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, "Omigod! more...

Hey, this joke is a reality of life in the UAE.
In the poor zoo of Africa, a lion was so much frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.
The lion thought it's prayers were answered, when one of UAE Zoo Manager visits the zoo and requests the zoo management to shift the lion to the UAE Zoo.
The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/C environment, a goat or two every day and a UAE residence permit also.
On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.
The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few peanuts.
Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from Africa.
The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of peanuts was delivered.
The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, "Don't you know I more...

A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?" The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your mother if she'd have sex with the mailman for $500, 000." The boy goes and asks his mother: "Mom, would you have sex with the mailman for $500, 000?" The mother replies: "Hell yes I would!" The little boy returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father then says: "Okay, now go and ask your older sister if she'd have sex with her principal for $500, 000." The boy asks his sister: "Would you have sex with your principal for $500, 000?" The sister replies: "Hell yes I would!" He returns to his father: "Dad, she said' Hell yes I would!'" The father answers: "Okay son, here's the deal: Hypothetically, we're millionaires, but more...