Magician Jokes

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    The Magician's Parrot

    Hot 6 months ago

    A magician is on a cruise liner with his parrot. The parrot had seen all the magician's tricks a zillion times and had figured out, long ago, how the magician made everything in the act disappear.
    The magician had started to grow stale, not developing any new tricks, and the parrot was getting bored.
    One night, midway through the magician's performance, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone drowned, except the magician and his parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage and climb aboard, immediately collapsing from exhaustion.
    A short time later, the parrot flew to the magician and perched on the edge of the piece of wreckage and stared at the magician. And stared... and stared... and stared.
    For one whole day the magician was unconscious and all this time the parrot never took his eyes off him. Eventually, the magician began to stir. Looking up, he saw the parrot, still eyeing him intently, without even blinking.
    An hour went by and finally, more...

    A young magician started to work on a cruise ship with his pet parrot. The parrot would always steal his act by saying things like, "he has a card up his sleeve" or "he has a dove in his pocket." One day the ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and said, "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?"
    McGee "A young man and an old man are talking.
    "Do you see that barn over there?" the old man says. "I built that barn with my own bare hands in just three days. Do they call me McGee the barn builder? Oh, no, no, no."
    The young man says, "Yes, sir, but... "
    "And do you see that bridge over there?" says the old man. "I built that bridge with my own bare hands in just two days. Do they call me McGee the bridge builder? Oh, no, no, more...

    A young magician started to work on a cruise ship with his pet parrot. The parrot would always steal his act by saying things like, "he has a card up his sleeve" or "he has a dove in his pocket." One day the ship sank and the magician and the parrot found themselves alone on a lifeboat. For a couple of days, they just sat there looking at each other. Finally, the parrot broke the silence and said, "Okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?" Animals
    Gonna get lucky "A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
    The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
    "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the night".
    "We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all more...

    A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.
    One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks. "Go ahead," said the stage manager. "Eat the shit, eat the shit!"
    "I just can't do it", said the magician. "There's a hair in it!"

    A famous magician had a thundering finish to his act. He would fill a large bowl with shit and proceed to slurp it noisily, to the amazement of his audience.One night he had just begun the wow finish of his act when he stopped in his tracks. "Go ahead," said the stage manager. "Eat the shit, eat the shit!""I just can't do it", said the magician. "There's a hair in it!"

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