Finish Jokes

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    Upmanship

    Hot 1 year ago

    An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life.Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild.Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife...she goes wild!

    Upmanship

    Hot 2 years ago

    An Australian, a Frenchman and an Italian are talking about married life. Italian: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in wine, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Frenchman: When I finish making love to my wife, I cover her head to toe in chocolate, then lick it off, and my wife, she goes wild. Aussie: When I finish making love to my wife, I get out of bed and wipe my dick on the curtains, and my wife... she goes wild!

    Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?" "I'm from Ireland." "Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more. "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin." "Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more. "Where in Dublin are you from?" "The East Side." "The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more."Where on the East Side are you from?" "McDonagh Street." "Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that." As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?" "Oh, it's more...

    "Finish your lima beans or you're not getting any heroin for dessert!"
    "If you don't stop that this instant, I'll have Grandma perform another striptease for you."
    "If this plexiglass wasn't between us, I'd wash your mouth out with soap, young man."
    "Do you want me to put a tofu burrito in your pants? Well? Do You?!"
    "Billy Bob, you finish them chores or Sis ain't goin' to the prom with ya!"
    "Eat your brussel sprouts, or Mommy won't love you anymore."
    "Lyle, Erik - either behave, or go to your suites!"
    "If you don't eat your peas, Chelsea, I'll make you stay at the Gingrich's house!"
    "Don't make me put you back in the womb!"
    "As long as you live under this roof, you're *going* to wear that dress, young man!"
    "You just wait til your father gets paroled!"
    "Stop crying, Lourdes, or Uncle Dennis will kick you in the more...

    10. Usually you can find someone to do it with.
    9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up right where you left off.
    8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
    7. When you open a book, you needn't worry about who else has opened it.
    6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
    5. If you don't finish a chapter, you'll never gain the reputation of a 'book teaser'.
    4. You can do it, eat and watch TV, all simultaneously.
    3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
    2. You never have to put your beer down to do it.
    1. If you're unsure about what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.

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