Tricks Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    God created the donkey & said to him: " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. " The donkey answered: " I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: "You will be a dog. " You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. " The dog answered: " Sir, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: " You will be a monkey. " You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey. " The monkey answered: " Sir, to live 20 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted more...

    The Magician's Parrot

    Hot 7 years ago

    A magician is on a cruise liner with his parrot. The parrot had seen all the magician's tricks a zillion times and had figured out, long ago, how the magician made everything in the act disappear.
    The magician had started to grow stale, not developing any new tricks, and the parrot was getting bored.
    One night, midway through the magician's performance, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone drowned, except the magician and his parrot. The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage and climb aboard, immediately collapsing from exhaustion.
    A short time later, the parrot flew to the magician and perched on the edge of the piece of wreckage and stared at the magician. And stared... and stared... and stared.
    For one whole day the magician was unconscious and all this time the parrot never took his eyes off him. Eventually, the magician began to stir. Looking up, he saw the parrot, still eyeing him intently, without even blinking.
    An hour went by and finally, more...

    Christmas Carol Parrot

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present. So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot. The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot.
    ''It's beautiful!'' cried the man, ''Does he do any tricks?''
    ''Yes he does,'' answered the salesman. ''If you put a lighted match under his right foot, the bird will sing 'Jingle Bells.' And if you put a lighted match under the birds left foot, he will sing 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.'''
    ''Amazing!'' exclaimed the man, and he bought the parrot immediately. That night, the man showed his wife the parrot that he'd bought.
    ''Oh, what a gorgeous bird! Does it know know any tricks?'' asked the wife. The man smiled and said, ''Watch this.'' Then he lit a match and put it under the birds right foot. Sure enough, the parrot began to sing 'Jingle Bells.' Then he put the match under the bird's left foot, and it began to sing 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.'
    ''That's incredible! Does he do anything more...

    A magician on a cruise liner had a parrot, who'd seen all the magician's tricks a jillion times, long ago having figured out the magic behind the magician's disappearing acts.
    The parrot got bored, his owner growing stale and not developing any new tricks that the parrot couldn't figure out.
    One night in the middle of the magician's performance, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. Everyone drowned except the magician and the parrot.
    The magician managed to swim to a piece of wreckage and climb aboard, immediately collapsing from exhaustion.
    Soon afterward, the parrot flew to the magician, perched on the edge of the makeshift raft and stared at the magician. And stared. And stared.
    For a whole day the magician was unconscious, and all this time the parrot didn't take his eyes off him.
    Eventually the magician started to stir. Looking up, he saw the parrot, still eyeing him intently, not even blinking.
    Another hour goes by, and finally the parrot squawks, more...

    A man wanted to buy his wife a unique birthday present. So one day, he went into a pet store looking for a parrot. The salesperson showed the man to a very beautiful parrot.
    "It's beautiful!" cried the man, "Does he do any tricks?"
    "Yes he does," answered the salesman.
    "If you put a lighted match under his right foot, the bird will sing 'Jingle Bells.' And if you put a lighted match under the birds left foot, he will sing 'Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.'"
    "Amazing!" exclaimed the man, and he bought the parrot immediately.
    That night, the man showed his wife the parrot that he'd bought.
    "Oh, what a gorgeous bird! Does it know any tricks?" asked the wife.
    The man smiled and said, "Watch this."
    Then he lit a match and put it under the bird's right foot. Sure enough, the parrot began to sing 'Jingle Bells.' Then he put the match under the bird's left foot, and it began to sing 'Hark! The more...

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