London Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone.Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear.Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it.Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper

Two men are driving through London when they get pulled over by a cop. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his stick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?" The officer answers, "You're in London son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here." The officer does a check on the driver's license, and he's O.K.. He gives the man his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the officer smacks him on the head with the stick. The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?" The officer says, "Just making your wish come true." The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?" The officer says, "I know that two miles down the road you're more...

1. IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. 2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs 3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken. 4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board. 5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.) 6. OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain? 7. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. 8. NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. 9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness. 10. SPOTTED IN more...

Q: A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

London - Following the approval of Viagra by the UK's health authorities, the first shipment arrived yesterday at Heathrow airport, but was hijacked on the way to the depot.
Scotland authorities have warned the public to be on the lookout for a gang of hardened criminals. They will face a stiff sentence when convicted and they'll surely be sent to a Penal Institution.