Lightsaber Jokes

You Might be a Redneck Jedi if...

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.

At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word' chicken'.

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

Your master ever said,' My finger you will pull..hmmm?'

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You ever lost a hand during a more...

You might be a reneck if...

You re-use dental floss to save money.

You've ever drunk mouthwash just because you're too lazy to walk down to the liquor store.

Your homecoming basketball game was rained out.

Your baseball bat "ain't never been used on a ball, but it's sure hit plenty of other things."

You've ever shot a mouse inside your home. You might be a redneck Jedi if...

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.

At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

The Real Skywalker Lineage(Setting: A furious lightsaber duel is underway. Darth Vader is backing Luke Skywalker towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand. It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down....)
Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth Vader: No, Luke... I am your father!
Luke: No! It's not true! It's impossible.
Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.
Luke: NO!
Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?
Luke: Threepio? Darth Vader: Yes, C-3PO. I built him - when I was only seven years old.
Luke: No!
Darth Vade: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself: No lightsaber, no hand, no job and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the more...

Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.You have ever used your lightsaber to open a bottle of Jack Daniel's.You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.At least one wing of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot."You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling. You have ever used a lightsaber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac. You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid. A Wookie has ever told you that you need to shave. You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while trying to light a cigarette with your lightsaber.