A drunk leprechaun was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
"Please God", he implored, "let it be blood!"
A man walks into the bathroom and discovers next to him at the urinal a little dude. Out of the corner of his eye he notices the size of the little guys... shlong. So the guy says, "How did you get such a large dick?"
"Well, I'm a leprechaun."
"What?" the guy says.
"Yep, you heard me."
As the man turns to walk away he thinks, "Man that's a big dick" So he turns to the little dude and says "what do i have to do to get a dick like that?"
"You don't want to know"
"Tell me I want to know." the man says.
"Well, take your pants down and let me fuck you in the ass."
The guy says, "No way in hell." As he walks out he considers the leprechaun's deal and decides that he really wants a big dick so he went back.
As the little dude was fucking him in the ass he asked, "How old are you?"
"30" the man replied.
"And you still believe more...
(where "pppphhhhhbbbttttt" equals sticking you tongue between your
lips and blowing air. A pseudo Bronx cheer.)
A man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun on his shoulder. He walks
up the the bar and sets on down. He proceeds to order a beer for
himself and for the little Leprechaun.
Well, the guy and the Leprechaun drink about two beers when finally
the Leprechaun jumps down off the guy's shoulder, trots down the bar
and stands in front of a rather large construction worker. He looks
at the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbttttttt" right to the
big guy's face.
Well the Leprechaun trots on back on hops back onto his buddy's shoulder.
The construction worker is a little ticked, but decides to shine on
this breach of manners.
After another beer and a half though, the Leprechaun hops down and
again goes in front of the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbbttt"
to the more...
A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but when he went to wipe his bum, there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class, his teacher asked him what he had in his hands.
"A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away," the boy said. He was then sent to the principal's office and the principal asked him what he had in his hands.
"A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." He was sent home and his mom asked him what he had in his hands.
"A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked him what he had in his hands.
"A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"
"Look, Dad. You scared the crap out of him."
Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they're always a little short.