Laws Jokes

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    International Weird Laws

    Hot 6 years ago

    A dumb list for dumb laws:
    Australia
    1. Children may not purchase cigarettes, but can smoke them.
    2. You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.
    3. It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.
    England
    1. Those wishing to use a television must apply for a license.
    2. It is illegal to leave baggage unattended.
    3. Picking up abandoned baggage is as act of terrorism.

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as every other law in the universe? Here are a few examples:1. A child's eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to the ability to actually do the work involved.2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.3. A newly washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.4. The availability of a ballpoint pen is inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote controls divided by the number of viewers.8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.9. The capacity of any hot water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.10.What goes up must come down, except for bubble gum, kites and slightly used Rice more...

    Laws of Feline Physics I

    Hot 4 years ago

    Laws of Feline Physics I
    Law of Cat Inertia
    A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force – such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
    Law of Cat Motion
    A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.
    Law of Cat Magnetism
    All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
    Law of Cat Thermodynamics
    Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
    Law of Cat Stretching
    A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
    Law of Cat Sleeping
    All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable for the cat, as possible.
    Law of Cat Elongation
    A cat can make her body long enough to reach any counter top that has anything more...

    Murphy's Laws Of Parenting...A child will not spill on a dirty floor.A lot of time has been wasted arguing over what came first, the chicken or the egg. It was undoubtedly the rooster.A young child is a noise with dirt on it.A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.Celibacy is not hereditary.Familiarity breeds children.For adult education, nothing beats children.God invented mothers because he couldn't be everywhere at once and God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.Having children will turn you into your parents.If a child looks like his father, that's heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.Insanity is inherited; you get it from more...

    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.

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