Kinky Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day grandpa says to grandma "Why don't we go to the motel like we used to do when we were young and get kinky?"
So they get to the motel and go into the room.
Grandpa takes off his glasses and says he going to get into the shower to freshen up. In the meantime grandma takes off her clothes and gets into bed. She decides to do some leg stretches to limber up ( it's been awhile ). Well she throws her legs over her head and they get caught in the headboard.
Right then grandpa walks out of the bathroom and sees her that way. "My God woman" he says "you need to put your teeth in and comb your hair, you look like an asshole!"

There's this young couple, Louise and Al, they've been married for about a year, and the bride isn't getting any sex. Just about every night hubby comes home, has a shower, gets changed and goes down to the pub. She's getting increasingly rampant as the days go on, but each night she is disappointed. Al comes home every night completely hammered and unfit for sexual activity. One particular night when Al gets in from work, Louise is seated provocatively on the sofa, wearing the skimpiest dress she has, suspenders, stockings, and very sexy lace panties and bra. As is always the case, Al comes home runs upstairs, gets ready and goes to the pub. Once again Louise is rejected, so she sits back with a bottle of wine to console herself. Then at 11 pm (well before normal) she hears Al coming up the driveway and opening the front door. Louise re-adopts her sexually provocative pose on the sofa and to her surprise, Al's first words are, "Right woman, get upstairs - into the bedroom." more...

A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar gettingdrunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down." My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she said." What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man, "she toldme that I was too kinky for her, too!"The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have somuch in common they decide to go back to the woman's house to havekinky sex. When they get to the woman's house she turns to the man and says,"Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable." She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather dominatrixoutfit. However, as she is coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting onhis coat and walking out the door." What happened?" She said, "I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?" He looks at her and says, "Well, I just screwed your dog and shit inyour purse. I'm done."

What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken

A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar gettingdrunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down."My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she said."What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man, "she toldme that I was too kinky for her, too!"The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have somuch in common they decide to go back to the woman's house to havekinky sex.When they get to the woman's house she turns to the man and says,"Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable."She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather dominatrixoutfit.However, as she is coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting onhis coat and walking out the door."What happened?" She said, "I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?"He looks at her and says, "Well, I just screwed your dog and shit inyour purse. I'm done."

Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

A man and a woman meet in a pub and start to chat. He tells her that he has just got divorced, and when she enquires as to the reason, he explains that he has always had a liking for kinky sex and that his ex-wife found it all a bit unpleasant. The woman replied that she too had recently divorced, and that it was because she also wanted to have kinky sex. The woman then suggests that they adjourn to her house and enjoy a session of kinky sex together. They eagerly hurry round to the woman's house and go into the lounge.
"Stay here," the woman says, "I'll be back in a minute."
The woman goes upstairs. 15 minutes later she comes back into the lounge wearing a rubber suit with metal studs, a leather mask, stiletto-heel boots, and brandishing a large bull-whip.
"Right then," says the man, "I'll be off then."
"Hold on," says the woman, "I thought you wanted have some kinky sex.
"Oh I did," said the man, more...