Jackass Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies", I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say's nothing and gives the guy his drink. this happens twice more.A couple of hours pass and the guy goes to the mens room and his wife goes up to the bar. This time she orders the drinks.The barman gets the drinks and says, "it's probably none of my business, but I think you should know that your husband has been referring to you as the jackass. I just had to tell you because I dont think it's very fair for him to call you that". The woman turns to him and smiles and says..."Oh, dont worry, it's ok - heaw, heaw, he always calls me that"!

Steve-O from Jackass was arrested Monday for vandalism and possession of a controlled substance after getting into an argument with his neighbor over a fence.

Steve-O is contesting the arrest asking, “How is stapling your penis to a fence -vandalism?”

A preacher went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule (jackass to the knowing) in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the preacher to the health department.
They said since there was no health threat that he should call the sanitation department. The sanitation manager said he could not pick up the mule without authorization from the mayor.
Now, the preacher knew the mayor, and was not to eager to call him. The mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the preacher called him anyway.
The mayor did not disappoint. He immediately began to rant and rave at the pastor and finally said, "Why did you call me anyway? Isn't it your job to bury the dead?"
The preacher paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his response. He was led to say, "Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead, but I always like to notify the next of kin more...

A guy and his wife walked into a bar one day, the wife takes a seat and the guy goes up to the bar.
The barman goes over to the guy and asks him what he wants, the guy replies", I'll have a bottle of bud and an orange juice for the jackass".
The barman looks at the guy puzzled but say's nothing and gives the guy his drink. this happens twice more.
A couple of hours pass and the guy goes to the mens room and his wife goes up to the bar. This time she orders the drinks.
The barman gets the drinks and says, "it's probably none of my business, but I think you should know that your husband has been referring to you as the jackass. I just had to tell you because I dont think it's very fair for him to call you that".
The woman turns to him and smiles and says...
"Oh, dont worry, it's ok - heaw, heaw, he always calls me that"!