Humor Jokes / Recent Jokes
A preacher, who shall we say was "humor impaired," attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were many well known and dynamic speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and delivered the rest of his talk, which went over quite well. The next week, the pastor decided he'd give this humor thing a try, and use that joke in his sermon. As he surely approached the pulpit that sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It suddenly seemed a bit foggy to him. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of another woma n that was not my wife!" The congregation inhaled half the air more...
At the end of camp, Julie won the prize for neatest trunk. Her mother was amazed. How did your trunk get so neat? she asked her messy daughter. It was easy, said Julie. I just never unpacked!
A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother hes fallen in loveand going to get married. He says, "Just for fun, Ma, Im goingto bring over three women and you try and guess which one Imgoing to marry."The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful womeninto the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat fora while. He then says,"Okay, Ma. Guess which one Im going to marry."She immediately replies, "The red-head in the middle.""Thats amazing, Ma. Youre right. How did you know?""I dont like her."
"Do you love me more than you love sleep?""I cant answer now. Its time for my nap!"
Boss: "Ive decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. "Knock knock." Employee: "Whos there?" Boss: "Not you anymore."
Q: How do we know that G-d has a sense of humor?
A: When he gave us the land of milk and honey he knew that we were lactose intolerant!
Barry Abrams
How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1. 00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.