Humor Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q. Why did the belt go to jail? A. Because he held up a pair of pants!

    This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an
    employee there who obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of course, does
    not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down
    immediately.
    Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
    protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
    registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
    information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and
    desires.
    [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified
    First Name: _______________ Initial: __ Last Name: _______________
    Code Name: __________ Password: ________ (max 8 char)
    Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ____ ____ ____
    Which model aircraft did you purchase?
    [_] F-14 Tomcat
    [_] F-15 Eagle
    [_] F-16 Falcon
    [_] F-117A Stealth
    [_] Classified
    Date more...

    A little corporate humor

    Hot 5 years ago

    A little corporate humor
    I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets.When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?""Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some AndersenConsulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and aftermonths of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons dropspoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time...nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift. Just more...

    HUMOR New 1-Liners

    Hot 3 years ago

    A few choice 1-Liners.


    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
    I intend to live forever - so far, so good
    For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
    Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
    I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

    I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
    Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
    Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
    Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
    I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

    Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
    I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
    I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy
    If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!
    Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

    Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 more...

    Whats the difference between ignorance and indifference? I dont know and I dont care!

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