Hoe Jokes / Recent Jokes
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year!
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas?
Because they were originally made for children but Dad wants to play with them.
Why does Santa wear red underwear?
Because he's a man - he did all his laundry in one load.
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Hoe, hoe, hoe!
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic!
What do you call a teenager who doesn't believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!
A FRIEND OF MINE HAS AN 18 YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEROY. HE ATTENDS OAKLAND HIGH SCHOOL WHERE THEY TEACH EBONICS AS A SECOND LANGUAGE. LAST WEEK HE WAS GIVEN AN EASY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS PUT EACH OF THE FOLLOWING WORDS IN A SENTENCE. THIS IS WHAT LEROY DID. 1. RECTUM: I HAD TWO CADILLACS, BUT MY OL'LADY RECTUM BOTH. 2. HOTEL: I GAVE MY GIRLFRIEND DA CRABS AND THE HOTEL EVERYBODY. 3. ODYSSEY: I TOLD MY BRO, YOU ODYSSEY THE JUGS ON THIS HOE. 4. STAIN: MY MOTHER-IN-LAW AXED IF I WAS STAIN FOR DINNER AGAIN. 5. SELDOM: MY COUSIN GAVE ME TWO TICKETS TO THE KNICKS GAME, SO I SELDOM. 6. PENIS: I WENT TO DA DOCTOR AND HE HANDED ME A CUP AND SAID PENIS. 7. CATACOMB: DON KING WAS AT THE FIGHT THE OTHER NIGHT, MAN, SOMEBODY GIVE THAT CATACOMB. 8. FORCLOSE: IF I PAY ALIMONY THIS MONTH, I'LL HAVE NO MONEY FORCLOSE. 9. UNDERMINE: THERE IS A FINE LOOKIN' HOE LIVIN' IN THE APARTMENT UNDERMINE. 10. TRIPOLI: I WAS GONNA BUY MY OLD LADY A BRA BUT I COULDN'T FINE NO TRIPOLI. 12. more...
Leroy is an 18 year old ninth grader who is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the public school system.
One day Leroy got an easy homework assignment. All he had to do was put each of the following words in a sentence. This is what Leroy did.
1. HOTEL - I gave my girlfriend da crabs and the HOTEL everybody.
2. RECTUM - I had two Cadillacs, but my ol' lady RECTUM both.
3. DISAPPOINTMENT - My parole officer tol me if I miss DISAPPOINTMENT they gonna send me back to the big house.
4. FORECLOSE - If I pay alimony this month, I'll have no money FORECLOSE.
5. CATACOMB - Don King was at the fight the other night, Man, somebody give that CATACOMB.
6. PENIS - I went to da doctor and he handed me a cup and said PENIS.
7. ISRAEL - Alonso tried to sell me a Rolex, I said Man, that looks fake. He said, No, ISRAEL.
8. UNDERMINE - There is a fine lookin' hoe livin' in the apartment more...
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!
Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!
What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
Santapplause!
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
Santa drives a rusty car
Press the starter
Press the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke!
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
Because they both have "Sandy claws"!
What does Father Christmas call his money?
Iced lolly?
What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
Santa pause!
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition. Now thats what you call pot luck! What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday? Freeze a jolly good fellow! What do you call a man who claps at Christmas? Santapplause! Twinkle Twinkle chocolate barSanta drives a rusty carPress the starterPress the chokeOff he goes in a cloud of smoke! Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws! Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden? Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe! Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas? Because they both have "Sandy claws"! What does Father Christmas call his money? Iced lolly? What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents? Santa pause!