Hillary Clinton Jokes / Recent Jokes
Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?""That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.""Whose clock is that?""That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life.""Where's Bill's clock?" Hillary asked."Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."
Ending a string of victories for Barack Obama, Pennsylvanians voted overwhelmingly for Hillary Clinton in the state's recent primary.
Hillary now looks ahead to Indiana, where she believes the primary issue will be who likes short haircuts or really short haircuts.
SNL -Hillary Clinton discusses her selection as Secretary of State.
In an effort to blunt the hysteria over Barak Obama, who many have likened to John F. Kennedy because of Obama’s charisma, Hillary attempted to claim JFK as her own.
Appearing in Nashua, NH, candidate Clinton said she is like JFK because she is shrill, vindictive and divisive, which in a parallel universe, is just like JFK.
Stupid Hillary--if she would have just made a nice effort to reconcile these feuding countries instead of actually succeeding, she could have won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Hillary Clinton is showing signs of mental exhaustion from her long, hard campaign. She's imagining being shot at in Bosnia, imagining Obama being shot before the Democratic Convention, imagining shooting herself repeatedly in the foot...oh, wait-- that actually happened.