Hemisphere Jokes

The following paper is taken from The Journal of Irreproducible Results, Volume 25
Number 4/1979. P. O. Box 234 Chicago Heights, Illinois 60411
1. INTRODUCTION
Worldwide controversy has been generated recently from several court decisions in the United
States which have restricted popular magazines from printing articles which describe how to make
an atomic bomb. The reason usually given by the courts is that national security would be
compromised if such information were generally available. But, since it is commonly known that
all of the information is publicly available in most major metropolitan libraries, obviously the
court's officially stated position is covering up a more important factor; namely, that such
atomic devices would prove too difficult for the average citizen to construct. The United States
courts cannot afford to insult the vast majorities by insinuating that they do not have the
intelligence of a cabbage, and more...

There was an international conference and a luncheon following at the U.N.
The G.B. representative started to offer a toast:
To the women of the Eastern Hemisphere!
The Chinese representative then followed:
To the women of the Western Hemisphere!
The Italian representative thought for a moment, and then said:
To the two hemispheres of women!
At a golf club a bunch of women are having tea. Then one woman
discovers that the men's locker room at some distance below their balcony
has its door ajar. And a man is taking a shower with his head unseen.
So this woman chuckles and says: "I am glad that that is not my husband-how
embarrassing!" A second woman acknowledges: "I am glad that he is not my
boyfriend....hmmm!"
A third woman then says:
"I don't know whether he is my husband or not, but I sure know that
he is not any of the men here at this golf club."
Ray Wong, bu000756(or rkw)@cisunx.UUCP

Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?
Do pigs pull ham strings?
Do dumped farmers get John Deere letters?
Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"?
Why do people say heads up when you should duck?
Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?
Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?
Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock? Aren't all clocks "time" clocks?
Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap?
Can dogs have dog days?
When a male is elected president and his wife is called the First Lady. What would a lady's husband be called if she were elected president?
If more...