Hamburger Jokes / Recent Jokes

What are some outstanding hamburger colleges? Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!

Dumb Oklahoma Laws
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another`s hamburger.
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
Whaling is illegal.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)
People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
Tattoos are banned.
No one may spit on a sidewalk.
It is more...

What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?' Hot dog!'

What did the hamburger say when it pleaded' not guilty'? I've been flamed!

More than 32 Million Americans Could Benefit
MIAMI, FL, March 31 -- Burger King Corporation today announced the launch of the new Left Handed WHOPPER, which will become available nationwide tomorrow. America's most preferred premium hamburger will feature the trademark build of lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, mayonnaise, ketchup and 4-ounce flame broiled hamburger patty, but the newly designed sandwich has been re-engineered to fit more comfortably in the left hand, thereby reducing condiment "spills" for left-handed hamburger lovers. It is estimated that more than 1. 4 million left-handed customers visit U. S. Burger King restaurants each day.
The new left-handed sandwich will have all condiments rotated 180 degrees, thereby redistributing the weight of the sandwich so that the bulk of the condiments will skew to the left, thereby reducing the amount of lettuce and other toppings from spilling out the right side of the burger.
"We have always been more...

Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property. Tattoos are banned. It is illegal to wear your boots to bed. Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus. Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car. Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state. Whale hunting is strictly prohibitted throughout the entire state of Oklahoma.In Tulsa, Oklahoma the limit on kisses is three minutes (by law).Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger. It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
One may not promote a "horse tripping event". No one may spit on a sidewalk. Ada: If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail. Hawthahorne: It is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window. Oklahoma City: No more...

What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning? Well, it's back to the old grind!