Hamburger Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Blonde's Diary

    Hot 1 year ago

    MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
    TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought his boss home for dinner.
    WEDNESDAY: A great day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed sort of silly, but I took a shower. I can't say it improved the rice any.
    THURSDAY: Today, Ron asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Ron asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
    FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was exactly the same as when I left.
    SATURDAY: Ron more...

    The Bill Clinton Joke

    Hot 4 years ago

    Q: What's the difference between a McDonalds Hamburger and Bill Clinton?
    A: Some people in Arkansas haven't had a McDonald's hamburger!

    A guy and his friend go to a little coffee shop, and
    the guy orders a hamburger. The guy behind the counter
    spits in his hands and rubs them against each
    other, grabs a chunk of ground beef from a dirty
    bowl with flies flying around, and spits on the
    grill. Then he puts the chunk of beef under his
    armpit to make a patty and then throws the patty on
    the grill.
    The guy ordering the hamburger looks at his friend
    and says, "God damn, that is gross." The friend
    says, "That's nothing, you should see how he makes
    the donuts."

    A man walks into a diner and orders a hamburger. As he is waiting for his food, he notices that the cook is flattening the raw hamburger patties by placing them under his armpits and squeezing with his arm.
    He calls the manager over and points out what the cook is doing.
    The manager replies, "Oh, that's nothing. You ought to see how he prepares the donuts!"

    A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings him his meal. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, exclaiming, "Waitress! There's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what's going on!"
    So, the waitress takes him back to the kitchen where the cook is, and to the man's demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. The distraught customer says, "That's disgusting!"
    Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting? You should see him make donuts."

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