Lower Jokes

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    According to Yahoo News, a study performed by the Pacific Institute of Research revealed that children from 2 to 4 years old that were spanked scored 5 points lower on an IQ test versus their unspanked counterparts. Children from ages 5 to 9 who were spanked scored an average of 2.8 points lower than unspanked children in the same age group.
    A new study is being coordinated right now to see if spanking has the same effect on adults who are 18 years old and up. Female volunteers are needed. Email me for details.

    Dear Sir,
    I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient.
    I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
    Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly more...

    This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. So here, thanks to John Sedgwick, is this Bricklayer's report. Dear Sir; I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went more...

    Name: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)
    Location: Throughout the world
    Description: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra
    layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous
    spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) Size varies from 3 to 12
    inches, depending on its mood & subspecies.
    Symptoms: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
    resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by
    excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware:
    It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!
    Habitat: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most
    unusual places.
    Antidote: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the
    venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete
    recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
    What To Do more...

    Dear Sir

    Hot 2 years ago

    Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a more...

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