Hail Jokes / Recent Jokes

In a small cathedral, a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the priest.

The priest asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on and on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done, just give her 10 Hail Marys. I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected, Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.

"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable," she said. "I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation—surely 10 Hail Marys would not do. So in a moment of desperation, the janitor peeked his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the priest give for more...

How did the hail stone describe its life?-It really has a lot of ups and downs

"Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green every week for the last month".

The Priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's."

Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "My son, who is "Nookie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies.

"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say 10 Hail Mary's and stop your sinning."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly, a gorgeous, tall woman enters. All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down right in front of the priest.

Her dress is green and very short, with more...

Called away for an emergency, a priest didn't want to leave the confessional unattended, so he called his rabbi friend and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come over and he would stay with him for a little while and show him what to do. The rabbi came over and he and the priest entered the confessional.
A few minutes later, a woman entered and said, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I have committed adultery."
"How many times?" the priest asked.
"Three times, Father," replied the woman.
"Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more," instructed the priest.
A few minutes later, a man entered the confessional and said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
"What did you do?" asked the priest.
"I committed adultery," the man confessed.
"How many times?" the priest more...

A young priest has just left the seminary and been sent to his first parish to work alongside an old experienced priest Father Brown.
When he arrives the old priest welcomes him with open arms, explaining that he has been working alone and hasn't had a day off in years. He asks the new priest to take confesson so that he can have a break.
The young priest is very nervous as he hasn't done it for real before.
The old priest explains that it's easy as he has produced a tariff, and he gives him the list:
Telling lies - one Hail Mary;
Stealing - one Our Father;
etc;
etc.
So the young priest goes into the confessional and everything seems to be going okay.
"Father, I have told a lie," - one Hail Mary
"Father, I have stolen," - one Our Father
The next sinner is a bit of a problem:
"Father, I have performed oral sex."
He looks down the list and it's not included.
In panic he opens the door and is relieved more...

A blonde was driving back from the mall when there was a terrible hail storm. Huge hail stones the size of golf balls pelted her car leaving it full of dents.
She drove to the body shop and asked what she should do. The body man explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at least $4000 to repair.
She said that was too much and wasn't there some other way to fix it?
The body man decided to have a little fun and said "Well you could blow into the tail pipe real hard and they might pop back out!"
She decided to give it a try before spending that much money. So she drove home and was in the garage with her lips wrapped around the exhaust pipe when her blonde neighbor came over to visit.
"What are you doing!" she shrieked thinking the worst and thankful that she may have just prevented her friend from committing suicide.
"I'm blowing into the tailpipe real hard to pop all these dents out of my car" explained the first more...

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave
>> the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him
>> to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but >> the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him >> what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the
>> confessional.
>>
>> In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I >> have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I
>> committed adultery." Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." >> Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." >> A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says >> "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Priest: "What did you do?"
>> Woman: "I committed adultery." Priest: "How many more...