Hail Jokes / Recent Jokes

Fed up of people making fun of him, Santa decided to change his religion. He joined a priest in a church as his assistant. One day the priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called Santa D'costa (his new assistant) and asked him to cover for him. Santa told him he would't know what to say, but the priest told him to stay with him for a little while and learn what to do.
Santa joined the priest and then followed him into the confessional. A few minutes later a woman came in and said,' Father forgive me for I have sinned.'
Priest:' What did you do?'
Woman:' I committed adultery.'
Priest:' How many times?'
Woman:' Three times.'
Priest:' Say two Hail Marys, put $5. 00 in the charity box, and sin no more.'
A few minutes later a man entered the confessional. He said,' Father forgive me for I have sinned.'
Priest:' What did you do?'
Man:' I committed adultery.'
Priest:' How many more...

A blonde was driving her car one day, when she ran into a hailstorm. The hail stones were very large and made a lot of dents in the roof of her car. After the hail stopped, she went to a gas station and asked the attendant what she could do to get the dents out of her car.
The attendant, being a smart-ass, told her: "Blow real hard into the exhaust pipe, and that should push out the dents."
When the blonde got home, not knowing any better, she did just that. While she was down on her hands and knees with her lips wrapped around her car's tailpipe, huffing and puffing trying to blow the dents out, her roommate-also a blonde-came home.
Her roommate of course asked her what the heck she was doing.
The first blonde told her how the guy at the gas station said this was how she could get the dents out.
The second blonde thought about it for a moment, then said: "Like, uh, you have to roll-up the windows first."

It's Father O'Brien's night to hear confessions, and there are four nuns in the lineup. The first nun goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I should let you know right off that I touched a man with my finger!"
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you could have been in a crowded elevator or some similar place," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I touched him right on his private parts!" >
"You slut! You filthy tart!" screams the good father. "Say a hundred Hail Mary's and dip your finger in the holy water on the way out of the church!" Which she does.
The second nun enters the confessional and says, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, and I want to say that I held a man with my hand."
"Oh lass!' Tis nothin', you might have stumbled and he lent you a hand," the priest says.
"Oh no, Father!" exclaims the nun. "I more...

A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unmanned, he called a rabbi friend up and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes a woman comes in and says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." The priest asks "What did you do?". The woman says "I Committed adultery." Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more." A few minutes later another woman enters the confessional. She says "Father forgive me for I have sinned." Priest: "What did you do?" Woman: "I committed adultery." Priest: "How many times?" Woman: "Three times." Priest: "Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in more...

A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD..." Blonde
Blonde panel beater "A blonde was driving back from the mall when there was a terrible hail storm. Huge hail stones the size of golf balls pelted her car leaving it full of dents.
She drove to the body shop and asked what she should do.
The body man explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at least $4000 to repair.
She said that was too much and wasn't there some other way to fix it.
The body man decided to have a little fun and said "Well you could blow into the tail pipe real hard and they might pop back out"
She decided to give it a try before spending that much money.
She drove home and was in the garage with her lips wrapped around the exhaust pipe when her blonde neighbor came more...

A blonde was driving back from the mall when there was a terrible hail storm. Huge hail stones the size of golf balls pelted her car leaving it full of dents.
She drove to the body shop and asked what she should do. The body man explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at least $4000 to repair.
She said that was too much and wasn't there some other way to fix it?
The body man decided to have a little fun and said "Well you could blow into the tail pipe real hard and they might pop back out!"
She decided to give it a try before spending that much money. So she drove home and was in the garage with her lips wrapped around the exhaust pipe when her blonde neighbor came over to visit.
"What are you doing!" she shrieked thinking the worst and thankful that she may have just prevented her friend from committing suicide.
"I'm blowing into the tailpipe real hard to pop all these dents out of my car" explained the first more...

A blonde was driving her car one day, when she ran into a hailstorm. The hail stones were very large and made a lot of dents in the roof of her car. After the hail stopped, she went to a gas station and asked the attendant what she could do to get the dents out of her car.
The attendant, being a smart-ass, told her: "Blow real hard into the exhaust pipe, and that should push out the dents."
When the blonde got home, not knowing any better, she did just that. While she was down on her hands and knees with her lips wrapped around her car's tailpipe, huffing and puffing trying to blow the dents out, her roommate-also a blonde-came home.
Her roommate of course asked her what the heck she was doing.
The first blonde told her how the guy at the gas station said this was how she could get the dents out.
The second blonde thought about it for a moment, then said: "Like, uh, you have to roll-up the windows first."