Sinned Jokes

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    Confessional

    Hot 10 months ago

    A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
    The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.
    The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, 'Father, forgive me for I have sinned.'
    The priest asks, 'What did you do?'
    The woman says, 'I committed adultery.'
    The priest says, 'How many times?'
    And the woman replies, 'Three.'
    Priest: 'Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more.'
    A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says, 'Father forgive me for I have sinned.'
    'What did you do?'
    ‘I committed adultery.'
    'How many times?'
    'Three times.'
    The priest says, 'Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more...

    The priest was in a confessional when he heard someone entering the other side. He slid back the screen, but the confessor was silent. The priest said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."
    "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned," said the penitent at last. "I'm a seventy-two year old man, and I'm dating a 21 year old with hige breasts!
    "That is not a sin," the priest assured him.
    "But I got her pregnant," said the old man.
    "I see," said the priest. "This is serious. Are you a good Catholic?"
    "Catholic? No, no. I'm agnostic," said the man
    "So why are you telling me all this?" asked the flustered priest.
    The agnostic said, "Well, I'm telling everyone. Wouldn't you?"

    Nuns Confessional

    Hot 3 years ago

    Four nuns are standing in line for confession. The first nun goes into the confessional and says bless me father for I have sinned I touched a man's private parts.
    The priest asks, "What part of your body did you use?"
    The nun replies, "My right hand."
    The priest tells her to dip her right hand in holy water say 10 hail Mary's and all will be forgiven.
    The second nun goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me father for I have sinned I touched a mans private parts."
    The priest asks, "What part of your body did you use?"
    The nun replies, "My left hand." The priest tells her to dip her left hand in the holy water say 10 hail Mary's and all will be forgiven.
    Well, this leaves the third and fourth nun standing in line. The fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and asks, "Would you mind if I went first?"
    The third nun says, "Sure I don't care, but would mind telling me more...

    George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Al Gore all arrive in heaven where an angel meets them. "All of you must cross this river and we shall judge how much you have sinned based upon how far you sink," says the angel.
    Dubya goes first and sinks up to his neck, but makes it across. As he looks back he sees Al Gore walking on the water.
    "What gives?" Dubya whines to the angel. "He's sinned just as much as I have."
    "He's standing on Bill's shoulders!" replies the angel.

    A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says,' Father, forgive me for I have sinned.' The priest asks,' What did you do?' The woman says,' I committed adultery.' The priest says,' How many times?' And the woman replies,' Three.' Priest:' Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more.' A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says,' Father forgive me for I have sinned.'' What did you do?' I committed adultery.' r' How many times?'' Three times.' The priest says,' Say two Hail Mary's, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.' The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's more...

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