Grandson Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Grandma's Visit

    Hot 4 years ago

    Last December, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T."

    She continued, "There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in,and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell."

    "Grandma, that sounds easy," replied the grandson, "but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow"?

    To which she answered, "You're coming empty handed?"

    South Dakota

    Hot 4 years ago

    A tough old Badlands rancher once told his grandson that the secret to long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

    The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to be 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren. .. and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

    Directions to Grandma's

    Hot 4 years ago

    A grown grandson is going to visit his grandmother who had recently moved to an apartment complex, so he phones her to get directions to her unit.
    "I'm in apartment 908. When you come to the front door of the complex you'll see a large panel at the door. With your elbow, push button 908. Then I'll buzz you in. Enter the lobby and go to the elevator which is on the left. Get in the elevator and with your elbow, push button 9. When you get out of the elevator, look for door number 908 on the right. With your elbow, press my doorbell."
    "That all sounds very easy, Grandma," says the grandson, "but why am I pressing all these buttons with my elbow?"
    "You're coming empty-handed?"

    Old Age, Cowboy Style

    Hot 6 years ago

    A cowboy has lived to an extremely old age, and one day his grandson asked him to what he attributes his long life.
    "Well, you know that every morning, I have a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast," says the old timer. His grandson nods. "Before I eat it, I sprinkle a little gunpowder on it, every day," The ancient cowpoke adds. The grandson decides to follow his grandfather's breakfast regimen, and each morning of his life, he has oatmeal with gunpowder sprinkled on it.
    Sure enough, the grandson lives to the ripe old age of 97, and when he died, he left seven children, twenty one grandchildren, eighteen great-grandchildren, and a fifteen foot hole in the side of the crematorium.

    [Offensive to large bodies of water]
    The old Jewish man was walking on the beach with his only grandson,
    when a giant wave crashes onshore, sweeping the boy out to sea.
    The man looks up to the heavens and says, "Oh Lord, this is my only
    grandson, how can you take him away from me like this? My son will
    not understand. My daughter-in-law will die from grief."
    Another wave comes by, and deposits the boy at the old man's feet.
    The grandfather looks to the heavens again and says, "He had a hat!"

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