Grandpa Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Grandpa's Safe Sex

    Hot 2 years ago

    A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.
    Teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"
    Grandpa replies, "Nope." Teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?" Grandpa replies, "A wedding ring."

    Bad day...

    Hot 6 years ago

    A guy was listening to his kid say his nightly prayers.
    The kid says, "Goodnight mommy, daddy, grandpa, and goodbye grandma."
    The next day the grandma dies. The guy thinks this is really weird.
    That night, the kid says "Good-
    night mommy, daddy, and goodbye grandpa" The next day the grandpa dies.
    The father thinks this is really weird. That night the kid says, "Goodnight mommy, and goodbye daddy."
    The father freaks. He's thinking I'm gonna die. So the next day he goes to work really slowly and carefully, and is nice to everyone at work.
    At the end of the day, he drives home really carefully and collapses into a chair.
    He says," Honey, can you get me a cup of coffee? I've had a really bad day." She says "YOU'VE had a bad day! I found the mailman dead on the doorstep!"

    Frog Noises

    Hot 6 years ago

    A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa.
    When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa's room.
    "Grampa, Grampa," he says excitedly, "as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
    "What?" said his grandpa.
    "Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going to Disneyland!!!"

    Did God make you?

    Hot 6 years ago

    A grandfather and granddaugher were sitting and talking when the young girl asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?" "Yes, He did, "the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

    A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "He sure did honey, a long time ago," replies her grandpa."Well, did God make me?" asks the little girl."Yes, He did, and that wasn't too long ago," answers her grandpa."Boy," says the little girl, "He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"

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