Glenn Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Carol was having trouble with her computer. So she called Glenn, the computer guy, over to her desk. Glenn clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
    As he was walking away, Carol called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
    A puzzled expression ran riot over Carol's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that... in case I need to fix it again??"
    He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?" "No," replied Carol. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
    (She wrote...) I D 1 0 T

    What do Glenn Hoddle and da Titanic have in common?
    Neither should have left Southampton.

    TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
    MARIA: Here it is.
    TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
    CLASS: Maria.
    TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
    JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
    TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
    GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
    TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
    DONALD: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
    TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
    WINNIE: Me!
    TEACHER: more...

    This a new month. Which means it's time to once again look at the things people do in search of a buck. Yep, it's Weird Business News.
    Our Best Stock Symbol Award this time to Schlotzsky's, the Austin-based sandwich shop chain. You can find its price on the Nasdaq listings under BUNZ.
    The Best Millennium Event for Elvis Fans - the 1999 Millennium Elvis Week Aug. 8 through 16 at Memphis, in which Elvis will be recognized - albeit by the people who make and sell his records - as the "Artist of the Century."
    Our It Sounds Dirty Even If It Isn't Award to Douglas R. Nappi, a vice president for government relations at the New York Stock Exchange. Nappi was complaining about those who hack into sites that provide stock quotes without paying for the service. Nappi calls it "quote sucking."
    The One Million and One Uses for Duct Tape Award to former astronaut and U.S. Sen. John Glenn. In a recent speech in Avon, Ohio, Glenn revealed that astronauts have used more...

    Top 10 Reasons No One Wants to go into Space with John Glenn again:
    10. The horror of seeing the effects of G-Forces on wrinkles.
    9. Kept using the Hubble to find his glasses.
    8. Everytime he sneezed, his teeth flew out.
    7. Forgot where he was each morning, kept grabbing for Scott while calling
    him "Annie".
    6. Constantly complaining about being "Stiff all over" while eyeing
    5. Couldn't get him to stop doing the "Viagra" experiment.
    4. When warned, "There's a Meteor Shower ahead", he thought they said,
    "Shower cause he'd peed the bed".
    3. Couldn't seem to ever attach his urinal bag properly.
    2. There's a real good reason why we call old men "Old Farts".
    1. The Prunetang worked, but the Depends didn't.

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