Funny Bumper Stickers Jokes / Recent Jokes
BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!! Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them! Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?I intend to live forever - so far, so good.Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?What happens if you get scared half to death twice?I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either! Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?Life is too complicated in the morning.The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized AutobiographyNobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you". ..I'm sure going to miss her.Ask me about my vow of silence.Today's subliminal message is: ( ) My karma ran over your dogma.A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.The Earth Is Full -- Go Home
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening to MeCleverly Disguised as a Responsible AdultThe Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My NameWhere Are We Going and Why Am I In This Handbasket?It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream NowI Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk SomewhereHeart Attacks... God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!I souport publik edekasionMediocrity thrives on standardization. I is a college student.Illiterate? Write For Help
I'm not driving fast-just flying low.If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.Honk If Anything Falls OffHe Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From the Next ExitRemember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed for 70mph.Boldly Going NowhereHow Many Roads Must a Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost? Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle."Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up.... Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Work is for people who don't know how to fishAll I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.