Funny Bumper Stickers Jokes

I have PMS and a handgun, any questions?

Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

I love animals, they taste great.EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? All generalizations are false, including this one. "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy. I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got! We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.