Funny Bumper Stickers Jokes / Recent Jokes
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac. I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART? All generalizations are false, including this one. "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy. I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got! We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! Don't get me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
Where there's a will...I want to be on it. It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill it. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home. Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.Eschew obfuscation.Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular. Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.Air Pollution is a mist-demeaner.Editing is a rewording activity.Make yourself at home. ....clean my kitchen Allow me to introduce my selves
Better living through denial Too many freaks not enough circuses Ambivalent? Well yes and no.... Does your train of thought have a caboose? Is it time for your medication or mine? How do I set the laser printer to stun? I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.... Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be. ..? Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you." Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. Adults are just kids who owe money.