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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again British Left Waffles on Falkland islands Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Eye Drops off Shelf Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants.Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - ChinaIndonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong KongMuscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - CairoFrench fried ships - CairoGarlic Coffee - EuropeSole Bonne Femme (Fish Landlady style) - EuropeBoiled Frogfish - EuropeSweat from the trolley - EuropeDreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - ChinaRainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong KongRoasted duck let loose - PolandBeef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - PolandFried friendship - NepalStrawberry crap - JapanPork with fresh garbage - VietnamToes with butter and jam - BaliFrench Creeps - L.A.Fried fishermen - JapanTeppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - JapanPepelea's Meat Balls - Romania

Stud Tires Out Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman's leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work After Death Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Clean Finger Nail - Chinese tissuesKolic - Japanese mineral waterCreap Creamy Powder - Japanese Coffee CreamerSwine - Chinese chocolatesLibido - Chinese sodaPocari Sweat - Japanese sport drinkShocking - Japanese chewing gumCat Wetty - Japanese moistened hand towelsPipi - Yugoslavian orangeadePolio - Czechoslovakian laundry detergentCrundy - Japanese gourmet candySuperglans - Netherlands car waxI'm Dripper - Japanese instant coffeeZit - Greek soft drinkColon Plus - Spanish detergent

Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Never Withhold Herbes Infection from Loved One Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in' 84 War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

These are fabricated corporate slogans that would never have made if far if they entered the real world.Microsoft: "How much are you going to pay today?" MTV: "Loud and easy to spell." Saks 5th Avenue: "You Could Shop Here if You're Poor, But That Would be Stupid!" Iguana: "The other green meat." Nike: "Just buy the shoes, you flabby spineless lump!" Daisy Air Rifles: "Keeping kids off your lawn for over forty years." Canon Photocopiers: "Quit calling them Xeroxes!" Apple MacIntosh: "Hey, we thought of it first!" Radio Shack: "You've got questions, we've got geek losers!" Professional Bowling on NBC: "Oh, why don't you just go ahead and kill yourself instead?"

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge Dear Kill 17,000 Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group