Belzer Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Feeling ill during a cross-country bus trip, Mrs. Belzer went back to the rest room only to find that it was locked. Returning to her seat, she tried to fight the nausea, but it finally got the best of her; turning to her left, she threw up all over the young man who was sleeping in the seat next to her.
    Stirring, the fellow woke and was surprised to find himself covered with vomit. Turning to him, Mrs. Belzer said, "Well-do you feel better now?"

    15 actual announcements taken from church bulletins:1. Don't let worry kill you- let the church help.2. Thursday night- potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery upstairs.5. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.7. Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.8. Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.9. Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.10. This being Easter Sunday, more...

    Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study. more...

    Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
    Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
    The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

    On the lighter side of religion, here are some actual sentences found in church bulletins and newsletters:
    Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
    Thursday night - potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
    The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
    This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
    Tuesday at 4pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
    Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
    Thursday at 5pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mother, please more...

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