Fourth Jokes / Recent Jokes

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing whothey like to operate on.
The first surgeon said, "I like operating onlibrarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order".
The second surgeon said, "I like operatingon accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order".
The third surgeon said, "I like operating onelectricians. When you open them up everything is color coded.
The fourth surgeon said, "I like operatingon lawyers".
The other three surgeons looked at each other indisbelief. One of them asked why.
The fourth surgeon replied, "Because theyare heartless, gutless, spineless, and their ass and head are interchangeable".

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.As the more...

Four married guys go golfing over the weekend and on Sunday during the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued. First Guy: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?" Fourth Guy: "That's easy! I just set my alarm for 5: 30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke and say,' Golf Course or Intercourse?' So she says,' Wear your sweater.'"

Bolub's Fourth Law of Computerdom: Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly manifests their lack of progress.

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, “I’d give anything to sink this next putt. ”
A stranger walks up to him and whispers, “Would you give up a fourth of your sex life? ”
The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless, but also that perhaps this is a good omen, so he says, “Okay, ” and sinks the putt.
Two holes later he mumbles to himself, “Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole. ”
The same stranger moves to his side and says, “Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life? ”
The golfer shrugs and says, “Sure. ”
He makes an eagle.
On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win.
Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, “Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match? ”
The golfer says, “Certainly! ” He makes the eagle.
As more...

Flugg`s Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.

Fourth Law of Applied Terror: The night before the English History mid-term, your Biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria. Corollary: Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor`s course.

Fourth Law of Revision: It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about interferences; if you have none, someone will make one for you.

Franklin`s Rule: Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for he/she will not be disappointed.

Freeman`s Commentary on Ginsberg`s theorem: Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem meaningful is based on the negation of one part of Ginsberg`s Theorem. To wit: 1. Capitalism is based on the assumption that you can win. 2. Socialism is based on the assumption that you can break even. 3. Mysticism is based on the assumption more...

Four nuns died and went to heaven as they always wanted. At the pearly gates
they were asked to confess about their sins. The first
nun went to the priest and said, when I was 7 years old
I toughted my brother's genital. Priest said its all
right Please wash your hands in that holly water.
The second nun come to priest and said when I was 8 years
I have watched a couple having sex, priest goes it's ok
go and wash your eyes in that holey water. Having seen
this the fourth nun asked third nun "Can I go before you?"
Third nun asked "Why do you want to go before me?
Fourth nun goes, I want to wash my mouth before you
wash your Ass in that holly water!!!!!!!