"... Perhaps of even greater significance is the
continuous and profound distrust of science and technology
that the environmental movement displays. The environmental
movement maintains that science and technology cannot be
relied upon to build a safe atomic power plant, to produce
a pesticide that is safe, or even bake a loaf of bread that
is safe, if that loaf of bread contains chemical preservatives.
When it comes to global warming, however, it turns out that
there is one area in which the environmental movement
displays the most breathtaking confidence in the reliability
of science and technology, an area in which, until recently,
no one-even the staunchest supporters of science and
technology-had ever thought to assert very much confidence
at all. The one thing, the environmental movement holds,
that science and technology can do so well that we are
entitled to have unlimited confidence in them, is FORECAST
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth...
He was then faced with a class action lawsuit for failing to file an
environmental impact statement from HEPA (Heavenly Environmental
Protection Agency), an angelically staffed agency dedicated to keeping
the universe pollution free.
God was granted a temporary permit for the heavenly portion of the
project, but was issued a cease and desist order on the Earthly
portion of the project, pending further investigation by HEPA. Upon
completion of His construction permit and environmental impact
statement, God appeared before HEPA council to answer some questions.
When asked why He began these projects in the first place, He simply
replied that He liked to be creative. This was not considered an
adequate reason and He was required to substantiate this further.
HEPA was unable to see any practical use for Earth anyway, since "The
Earth was void and empty and darkness was on the more...
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource more...
God Meets BureaucracyIn the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was facedwith a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impactstatement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but wasstymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing atthe hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the firstplace. He replied that he just liked to be creative.Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded toknow how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What aboutthermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge ballof fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assumingthat no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain abuilding permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half thetime. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness"Night." Officials replied that more...
In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.Shortly thereafter God was in receipt of a notice to show cause why he shouldn't be cited for failure to file an environmental impact statement. He was granted a temporary planning permit for the project, but was stymied by a Cease and Desist Order for the earthly part.At the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.Then God said, "Let there be light."Officials immediately demanded to know how the light would be made. Would it require strip mining? What about thermal pollution?God explained that the light would come from a huge ball of fire, and provisional approval was granted with the proviso that no smoke would result.The authorities demanded the issuance of a building permit, and (to conserve energy) required that the light be left off half the time. God agreed, saying he would call the light "Day" and the darkness "Night." more...