Disney Jokes / Recent Jokes

Youve come to the annoying realization that your parents were right about almost everything.

The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your carin the ten items or less lane.

Youve stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your parents.

Youve found yourself discussing rain gutters.

You remember your kids names, just not always the right one.

You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the street for the garbage collector.

Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of mold.

You buy age-defying makeup and antiwrinkle creams and believe they work.

Youve realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking around Disney World include you.

You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator Muzak.

As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in a Speedo more...

If you liked the Hunchback, you'll love these Disney versions...
The Inferno by Dante Aligheri
The poet Dante (the voice of Bruce Willis) is led by his friend
Virgil (the voice of Anthony Quinn) on a magical trip
underground to the land of "Heck." Among the delightful
creatures they visit are the lovebirds Paolo and Francesca (the
voices of Andrew Dice Clay and Rosie O'Donnell), the Crying
Trees (the band Nirvana), and the Five Singing Little Devils
(the Jacksons).
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Pigs, chickens, horses - all the familiar barnyard crowd - are
the heroes of this charming celebration of teamwork and
diversity. The poor animals, having suffered for years on a
failing farm under the tyranny of the cruel farmer Jones (Robert
Goulet), are suddenly liberated when Jones trips and falls down
a well. Though things are chaotic at first, the kindly young pigs
Snowball (Michael J. Fox) and Napoleon (Eddie more...

Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

There were two blonds on their way to Disney World. When they were getting close there was a sign that read, "DISNEY WORLD LEFT,"So they turned around and went home.

Still allowed:

1. Murder
2. Rape
3. Pillage
4. Trans Fats

Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.

It was a somber day in Disney land, Mickey And Minnie were in divorce court.. The judge was about to make his decision he said' Im sorry mickey, I cant grant you a divorce based on your statement that Minnie has prominant teeth"Mickey retorted " I DIDNT SAY SHE had prominent teeth, I SAID SHE WAS FUCKING GOOFY!!