Digit Jokes / Recent Jokes

TEST: * ****************************************************************** DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an idiot and wish you had listened. * ******************************************************************1) pick a number from 1-92) subtract 53) multiply by 34) square the number (multiply by the same number -- not square root) and if it's negative make it positive. 5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i. e. 64=6 4= 10= 1 0=1)6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4. 7) multiply by 28) subtract 69) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc... 10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter11) take the second letter in the country name and think of a mammal that begins with that letter12) think of the color of that mammal********************************************************************DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU more...

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember how
Computers used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make electrons dance,
And maybe I’d be happy for a while.

But January made me shiver,
it chilled me deep down in my liver.
Bad news I’d collected…
I couldn’t get connected.

I can’t remember back that day
When I first knew the Y2K.
But something touched me anyway…
The day computers died.

So … bye, bye to the next digit of Pi.
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry.
And good ol’ boys were sending e-mail replies,
Saying this will be the day I retire…
This will be the day I retire.

Can you write in C plus plus?
And do you have faith in your local bus,
If the driver tells you so?
Do you believe in Compaq’s goals?
Can software save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to type real more...

You might be a child of the 80's if...... you have deep, personal relationships via computer with people you've never met in real life.... the phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis.... you know, by heart, the words to any "Weird" Al Yankovic song.... not that you'd do it personally, but body piercing captivates your attention.... you remember the days when cocaine was just fine in powder form, thankyouverymuch.... you think the "the Gay 90's" refers to this decade and sexual orientation.... the Brady Bunch movie brought back cool memories.... you remember the first time "Space: Above and Beyond" aired - it was called "Battlestar Galactica".... songs by Debbie Gibson still haunt you to this day.... three words: "Atari" "IntelliVision" and "Coleco". Sound familiar?... you remember the days that hooking your computer into your television wasn't an expensive more...

>> Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be
>>glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an knucklehead and wish you had
>>listened.
>>
>> 1) pick a number from 1-9
>> 2) subtract 5
>> 3) multiply by 3
>> 4) square the number (multiply by the same number)
>> 5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i. e. 64= 6+4= 10 1+0=1)
>> 6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4.
>> 7) multiply by 2
>> 8) subtract 6
>> 9) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc...
>> 10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter
>> 11) take the second letter in the country name and think of an animal
>> that begins with that letter
>> 12) think of the color of that animal
>>
>> *******************************************************
>>
>> ******* DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE ALL OF THE ABOVE*******
>>
>> more...

TEST:
***
DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an idiot and wish you had listened.
***
1) pick a number from 1-9
2) subtract 5
3) multiply by 3
4) square the number (multiply by the same number - not square root) and if it's negative make it positive.
5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i.e. 64=6 4= 10= 1 0=1)
6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4.
7) multiply by 2
8) subtract 6
9) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc...
10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter
11) take the second letter in the country name and think of a mammal that begins with that letter
12) think of the color of that mammal
***
DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE ALL OF THE ABOVE
Here it comes, NO CHEATING or you'll be sorry...
You have a grey elephant from Denmark!