Decaf Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order, "... and to drink?" she asked. The man said he would like coffee.
    The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man's lap when she stopped at the table. "Oh my god, I am so sorry!"
    "That's OK," the man said sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin. "But tell me, is this regular or decaf?"
    "Regular," she replied.
    "Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night!"

    Best Things to say if Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...
    " They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
    " This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."
    " Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"
    " I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
    " I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
    " I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
    " Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
    "The coffee machine is broken..."
    "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
    ". .. in Jesus' name. Amen."
    You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if...
    You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different more...

    A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order.

    ".. . and to drink?" she asked.

    The man said he would like coffee. The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man's lap when she stopped at the table.

    "Oh my God! I am so sorry!"

    "That's OK," the man said, sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin, "But tell me, is this regular or decaf?"

    "Regular," she replied.

    "Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night!"

    A man entered a restaurant and sat down. A few minutes later, a waitress came over to take his order.
    "... and, what would you like to drink?" she asked. The man ordered a cup of coffee.
    As she promptly returned with a cup of coffee, the waitress stumbled and spilled the coffee on the man's lap. "Oh, sir, I am so sorry," apologized the waitress.
    "That's all right," the man replied, wiping up the coffee with his napkin. "But, tell me, is this regular or decaf?"
    "Regular," the waitress replied.
    "Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night!" grumbled the man.

    Here's the background:
    Bill works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of CSUC; Chuck is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Bill, this actually happened. (Chuck is telling the story).
    Her: Yes, I'd like a milk with some coffee in it.
    Me: So, that's just a splash of coffee in a milk?
    Her: No, a regular amount of milk, but not coffee.
    Me: Is there more milk or coffee?
    Her: Oh, definitely more coffee.
    Me: So that's a coffee with some extra milk.
    Her: Just the usual amount of milk.
    Me: A coffee with milk.
    Her: Yes.
    Me: Anything else?
    Her: A little extra milk and do you have coffee with no caffeine?
    Me: We do have decaf.
    Her: No, I don't want decaf, just some coffee without the caffeine.
    Me: Ma'am, that's what decaf means, no caffeine.
    Her: Oh, then do you have milk with no caffeine?
    Me: Milk doesn't come with caffeine.
    Her: Yes, it does.
    Me: Not that I know of. Where do more...

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