Cubicle Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
    A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
    If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
    Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
    I'm just driving this way to get you mad.
    Keep honking, I'm reloading.
    Hang up and drive.
    Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
    Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
    I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.

    1) Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the darn box all day! 2) Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me. 3) Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire. 4) That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese. 5) Lack of roof rafters for the noose. 6) My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right. 7) 23 power cords, 1 outlet. 8) Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. 9) When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me. 10) Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.11) If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you."12) If your boss calls you and askes you to come into his office for a minute the walk there is like a funeral march... people hand you tissues as you pass and refuse to make eye contact.13) You more...

    : 1. Being told to "Think Outside the Box" when I'm in the @#$%? box all day!

    2. Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who is behind me.

    3. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire.

    4. That nagging feeling that if I just press the right button, I will get a piece of cheese.

    5. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

    6. My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.

    7. Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip without comment.

    8. Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.

    9. 23 power cords, 1 outlet.

    10. Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.

    11. When tours come through, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.

    12. Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

    10. Being told to' Think outside the Box' when you're in a friggin box all day long. 9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who's behind you. 8. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire. 7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you'll get a piece of cheese! 6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose. 5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. 4. 23 power cords, 1 outlet. 3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds. 2. When tours come through, you get lots of peanuts thrown at you. 1. You can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

    When not to Fart:
    1. In a crowded elevator
    2. On a crowded bus
    3. In a public library
    4. While on a date
    5. While giving a speech
    6. In church
    7. In a crowded classroom
    8. In your office when you`re alone - someone`s bound to walk in immediately afterwards
    9. In a movie theater
    10. In your cubicle at work - again someone`s bound to walk in to visit
    11. In a walk-in freezer - it`ll linger a while
    12. In an commercial airplane
    13. In a ticket line
    14. In your car before picking up a family member
    15. during confession
    16. In bed when you`re feeling frisky
    17. In a Cessna
    18. While fighting fire in a burning building
    19. In a patrol car for a minor violation

    When to Fart:
    1. In your bosses office as you are turning to leave. Tip-Make sure it`s a silent one.
    2. In a bathroom
    3. In a cashier`s line - it might help to speed up things
    4. In an empty elevator before more...

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