Waitress Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Crazy Truck Driver

    Hot 1 year ago

    A truck driver stopped for a meal at and was just served when a huge caravan of Hells Angels roared in. As the gang entered the restraunt, everyone but the truck driver quickly paid thier bills and left. The truck driver quietly sat there eating his steak.
    The leader of the Hells Angels marched in and sat by the trucker at the bar, reached over and took his plate and began to eat the steak. Still unruffled, the trucker sat there quietly and drank his coffee. This infuriated the gang leader who grabbed the coffee and poured it on the trucker's head. Calmly the trucker wiped his head and walked to the cashier. Amid jears and insults from the gang the trucker paid his bill and left.
    When the waitress came to take their order, the gang leader remarked, "Boy, that guy wasn't much of a man was he. I stole his steak, called his mother a bitch, and even poured coffee on his head. And the whimp, he just walked away."
    The waitress replied, "Yea, I guess your right. more...

    A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.

    She says, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?"

    One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry hungry."

    The waitress says, "So how is whacking off in this restaurant going to help that situation?"

    One of the other businessmen replies, "Because menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED."

    Not Much of a Man?

    Hot 2 years ago

    A little guy sat in a cafe one day eating his lunch. Three Hells Angels walked into the cafe, looked around, and decided to have some fun with the little guy.
    They sat at his table. One of them took his coffee away from him and drank it down. The next one took his sandwich away and ate it down. The third Hells Angel took the little guy's pie and ate it down.
    Without saying a word, the little guy got up, went to the cash register, paid his bill, and left.
    One of the Hells Angels looked at the waitress, and said, "Did you see that? We took away his coffee, his sandwich, and his pie! And he didn't say a word! He sure ain't much of a man!"
    The waitress turned to them and said, "He ain't much of a truck driver, either. He just ran over three motorcycles in the parking lot!"

    An Italian in America

    Hot 2 years ago

    (must be read with an Italian or other foreign accent)
    One day ima gonna America to bigga hotel.
    Inna morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I wanna two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.
    Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table you sonna ma bitch.
    So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit onna my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch.
    I go to more...

    Brains or Intelligence?

    Hot 3 years ago

    All members of Mensa have I.Q.s of at least 140.
    At one Mensa convention, several members at a local cafe noticed the shaker with an S on top, for salt, contained pepper and their pepper shaker, with a P on top, was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling anything and using only the implements at hand? Clearly, here was the marvellous Mensa mystery!
    They presented ideas, debated them, and finally came up with what they felt was a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
    They called the blonde waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
    "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker contains..."
    "Oh, sorry!" interrupted the blonde waitress. "Here," and she unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.

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