Crutches Jokes / Recent Jokes

When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physicianexamined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be corrected by minor surgery. The patient's wife anxiously rushed up to the doctor after the examination and was told of the diagnosis and the need for surgery."How long will he be on crutches?" she asked. "Crutches???" the doctor asked "Well, yes," the woman said "You are going to lengthen his legs, aren't you?"

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.

After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be cured through corrective surgery.

"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.

"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.

"Well," said the wife coldly, "You ARE planning to lengthen Ralph's legs, aren't you? "

A preacher who advertised himself as a great healer set up a tent in a small rural town. That evening a man came in on crutches and said to him, "Ain't no doctor been able to cure my leg. Can you heal me?" "What's your name brother?" asked the preacher. "Bob" replied the man. "Bob, you just go behind that red curtain." A moment later, another man walked in and said, "S-s-sir, c-c-can you help m-m-me with m-m-my s-s-stuttering?" "What's your name brother?" asked the preacher. "John" replied the man. "John, you just go behind that red curtain." After 10 minutes of frenzied preaching and praising, the healer threw his hands in the air, raised his eyes to the ceiling, and dramatically shouted, "Bob, drop your crutches! John, say something!" A few moments passed before a voice behind the curtain said, "B-b-bob just f-f-fell on h-h-his b-b-butt."

Father! Father! An old man on crutches walked up to the holy water a minute ago, and he splashed some on his right leg and then he threw away his right crutch! Then he splashed some more on the other leg and threw away his left crutch! "My boy, you've witnessed a miracle! What happened then?" "He fell on his ass Father he's a cripple you know!"

Have faith and ye shall be healed!" intoned the evangelist at the revival meeting. A woman on crutches and a man came forward. The evangelist asked, "What is your name, my good woman?"
"I'm Mrs. Smith," she answered, "and I haven't been able to walk without crutches for twenty years."
"Well, Mrs. Smith," he said, "go behind that screen and pray."
Turning to the man, he asked, "Now, sir, what is your name?"
"My name ith Thamualth," he answered, "and I have alwayth thpoken with a lithp."
"All right, Mr. Samuals," the evangelist said, "go behind that screen with Mrs. Smith and pray." After several minutes had passed, the revivalist announced: "I think the time has come. Witness these miracles. Mrs. Smith, throw your left crutch over the screen." The audience gasped as it sailed over. "Mrs. Smith, throw your right crutch over the screen." more...