Crutches Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A preacher who advertised himself as a great healer set up a tent in a small rural town. That evening a man came in on crutches and said to him, "Ain't no doctor been able to cure my leg. Can you heal me?" "What's your name brother?" asked the preacher. "Bob" replied the man. "Bob, you just go behind that red curtain." A moment later, another man walked in and said, "S-s-sir, c-c-can you help m-m-me with m-m-my s-s-stuttering?" "What's your name brother?" asked the preacher. "John" replied the man. "John, you just go behind that red curtain." After 10 minutes of frenzied preaching and praising, the healer threw his hands in the air, raised his eyes to the ceiling, and dramatically shouted, "Bob, drop your crutches! John, say something!" A few moments passed before a voice behind the curtain said, "B-b-bob just f-f-fell on h-h-his b-b-butt."

    John and his wife were thrilled to see that his penis was growing larger and staying erect much longer. After several weeks though, he noticed that it had grown to almost twenty one inches. This was causing him great concern so both he and his wife made an appointment with a very well-known urologist.
    After examining him, the doctor explained to the couple that although it was very rare, John's condition could be cured through corrective surgery.
    "Should we agree to this, doctor," asked the anxious wife, "how long would John need to be on crutches?"
    "Crutches? Why would he need to be on crutches?" the doctor inquired.
    "You are planning on lengthening John's legs, aren't you?" she replied.

    One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches.
    An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.
    "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle!" the priest said. "Tell me, where is this man now?"
    "Flat on his butt over by the holy water!" the boy informed him.

    One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches.
    An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.
    "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?"
    "Flat on his ass over by the holy water," said the boy.

    One morning a man entered the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, placed some on each leg, then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed this and ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he had seen.
    "My son," the priest said, "you have just witnessed a miracle. Where is this man now?"
    "He's flat on his behind over by the holy water," the alter boy replied.

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