Crusty Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Yo momma's feet are so crusty, when she walks on a wooden floor, it sounds like she's tap dancing.

    The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his law firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."

    Q: How many Dylan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind.

    Q: How many Pet Shop Boys does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Two. One to change it and one to sit around looking bored.

    Q: How many heavy metal fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Three. One to change it and two to say "Excelleeeeeent! "

    Q: How many punk rockers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on his forehead.

    Q: How many crusties does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Twelve. Crusty #1 yanks the old bulb out and crusty #2 is just about to put the new one in when crusties #3 and #4 stagger in and start arguing that it's their turn. In the ensuing squabble the bulb gets dropped on the floor and smashes. Then crusty #5 points out what a good laugh this is and so chief crusty (#6) more...

    The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him. "I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer. Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling. The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."

    ( Apologies to all to whom this is not culturally relevant! )
    A joke told to me by one of the staff at church on Sunday:
    The somewhat old and crusty vicar was taking a well-earned retirement from
    his rather old and crusty parish. As is usual in these cases, a locum was
    sent to cover the transition period. This particular man was young and
    active, and had the strange notion that church should also be active and
    exciting. As a consequence he was more than a little disapointed with the
    dull and tradition-bound church. He decided to do something about it.
    For his first Sunday, he didn't wear the traditional robes and vestments,
    but lead the service wearing a nice 2-piece suit. The congregation was
    horrified! He changed the order of the service. The congregation was
    horrified! Then came the children's lesson.
    For this he came out of the pulpit, and sat on the communion table.
    The congregation was mortified! He sat there more...

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