Crashes Jokes / Recent Jokes

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a
new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and
says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every
time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!'
really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that,
you'll be fine.''
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the
command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle.
The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the
horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey,
somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's
ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through
the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll
have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure
enough, the horse sails over the jump with no more...

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.''
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest more...

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.'' The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to more...

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: “We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately! ”
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face.
Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask: “What in the hell are you doing fixing your make-up when we are about to freaking crash! ”
Claudia responds: I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces- which is why I am putting on my make-up. ”
Cindy Crawford rips open her blouse to expose two beautiful mounds of flesh which inexplicably defy the law of gravity. Totally confused, Naomi and Claudia shout: “Cindy, have you lost your senses? Why are you baring your breasts for everyone to see when we are about more...

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Did you try rebooting with extensions off?
Note: On the Macintosh, certain types of crashes can sometimes be attributed to not-quite-compatible extensions. One way to find out if one of the extensions is at fault in a crash is to reboot with extensions off and see if it crashes again.

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says, ”All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, ‘ALLLLEEE OOOP! ’ really loudly in the horse’s ear. Providing you do that, you’ll be fine. ”
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers ‘Aleeee ooop’ in the horse’s ear. The same thing happens–the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ”It’s no good, I’ll have to do it, ” and yells, ”ALLLEEE OOOP! ” really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This more...