Shout Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A very faithful woman

    Hot 4 years ago

    An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"
    Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
    Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
    The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."
    The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."
    The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"

    LOTR Fun

    Hot 5 years ago

    For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
    2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
    3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
    4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
    5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
    6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
    7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
    8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it... MY way...!"
    9. At the end, more...

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a
    new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and
    says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every
    time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!'
    really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that,
    you'll be fine.''
    The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the
    command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle.
    The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the
    horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
    They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey,
    somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's
    ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through
    the center of the jump.
    At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll
    have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure
    enough, the horse sails over the jump with no more...

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.''
    The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
    They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
    At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest more...

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, ''All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine.'' The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens-the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump. At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, ''It's no good, I'll have to do it,'' and yells, ''ALLLEEE OOOP!'' really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to more...

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