Alternative Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    On the other hand, you have different fingers.

    Q. What does HMO stand for?
    A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "Hey, Moe!" Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Doctor Moe Howard, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes. Modern practice replaces the physical finger poke with hi-tech equivalents such as voice mail and referral slips, but the result remains the same.

    Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
    A. No. Only those you need.

    Q. I just joined a new HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
    A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan at the time the information was gathered. These doctors basically fall into two categories -- those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the more...

    Q. What does HMO stand for?
    A. This is actually a variation of the phrase "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
    Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
    A . Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories - those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan! But don't worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and has a diploma from a Third World Country.
    Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
    A. No. Only those you need.
    Q. Can I get coverage for my more...

    Q. What does HMO stand for?
    A. This is actually a variation of the phrase,' Hey, Moe!' Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Dr. Moe Howard of "The Three Stoogies " who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.
    Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?
    A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were participating in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and that diploma from a small Caribbean Island is very fresh.
    Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?
    A. No. Only more...

    EMACS: Escape-Meta-Alt-Control-Shift
    EMACS: Eight Megabytes And Constantly Swapping
    EMACS: Even a Master of Arts Comes Simpler
    EMACS: Emacs Manuals Are Cryptic and Surreal
    EMACS: Energetic Merchants Always Cultivate Sales
    EMACS: Each Manual's Audience is Completely Stupified
    EMACS: Emacs Means A Crappy Screen
    EMACS: Eventually Munches All Computer Storage
    EMACS: Even My Aunt Crashes the System
    EMACS: Eradication of Memory Accomplished with Complete Simplicity
    EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe Alternative Civilizations Survive
    EMACS: Egregious Managers Actively Court Stallman
    EMACS: Esoteric Malleability Always Considered Silly
    EMACS: Emacs Manuals Always Cause Senility
    EMACS: Easily Maintained with the Assistance of Chemical Solutions
    EMACS: Edwardian Manifestation of All Colonial Sins
    EMACS: Extended Macros Are Considered Superfluous
    EMACS: Every Mode Accelerates Creation of Software
    EMACS: Elsewhere Maybe All Commands are more...

  • Recent Activity