Condom Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Republican National Committee announced today that the Republican Party is changing its emblem from an elephant to a condom.
The committee chairman explained that the condom more clearly reflects the party's stance today, because a condom accepts inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a
sense of security while you're actually getting screwed.

A man had just got to his hotel room with his newlywed wife on thier honeymoon. He said, "Let's screw." So they took off their clothes and got close and started kissing and the man said, "Wait, we don't have a condom, I'm not ready for kids yet." So the man called up the bellhop and asked him to bring up a condom. When the bellhop got their he said, "Here is your condom sir, would you like me to put it on your bill?"

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.
The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."
The son then asks his father, "Well what's the 6 pack for?" The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.
Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're married... You have one for January, one for February, one for March..."

* What is the diffirence between a condom and a cow?
- The one is a pullover and the other is a jersey.

* What is the diffirence between a condom and a coffin?
- You come in the one and you go in the other.

* What is the diffirence between a condom and a man?
- The one has balls and the other hasn't.

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."The son then asks his father, "Well what's the 6 pack for?" The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, "Well, that's for when you're married... You have one for January, one for February, one for March..."

Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269Dear John Doe, We regret to inform you that we have rejected your application to model and represent our product, TROJAN CONDOMS.Although your general appearance is not displeasing, our Board of Directors feels that your wearing of our product in the advertisement does not portray a positive, romantic image for our product. A loose baggy and wrinkled condom is NOT considered romantic.We did admire your efforts to try and firm it up by using Polygrip, but even then it slipped off before we could get the photographs taken. We would like to note, however, that yours is the first we've seen that looked like a bicycle grip.We appreciate your interest and thank you for your time. We will retain your application for future consideration, if by chance we decide that there is a market for micro-mini condoms.We send greetings and our deepest sympathy.Yours very truly, Burley Dick, PresidentTROJAN more...

Condom that doubles as a self-inflating hot-air balloon (with reservoir tip)
"The Cartman" - an anal probe that facilitates otherwise impossible ski moves
Palm Pilot to distract bad guys with that hilarious Top 5 List
Condom coated with truth serum
Can of whoop-ass disguised as a Diet Coke
Miniature caulking gun for holes in the plot
Giant foam hand that says "British Secret Service #1!"
Viagra Martini: for when he's shaken, not stirred
Really grippy pliers
Cool British sports car that - get this - actually *runs*!
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Cool New Gadget Used by James Bond...
Whatever it is, I bet a cheap plastic replica of it will fit in a Happy Meal.
Rumination of the Day: If you get a headache while in church, that means that God is trying to see what you're thinking. Contrary to logic, you should not make things easier by yelling to God, "So why didn't the Thundercats have their own theme more...